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September 11th, 2005

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April 18th, 2005

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April 17th, 2005

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April 16th, 2005

02:20 am After a somewhat drunken conversation with upperclassmen, I officially feel like a miscreant idiot. I suppose this is normal, but I suddenly feel as thought my opinion is best left unspoken with regard to those wiser than I. Or perhaps that is how one learns, by coming off as an idiot and then being corrected. Or perhaps even naivete and ignorance reveals something about those thing which we so take for granted. Anyway. I am less drunken than I was previously, but still feel too incompetent to write about dualism and its alternatives. Perhaps it is important to do such while I will not edit. Oh dear siberianprince, I do wonder who you are. Perhaps I know you, and we have spoken awkward hellos, and you have noted that I am a fragile and ridiculous freshman who is perhaps not suited to this St. John's business. Or perhaps you do not know which of the faceless freshman I am. Do elaborate on your identity, if such a thing is possible. A name perhaps. My brother has emailed me. I enjoy his emails. I wish I had sushi. Current Music: Coll-edge-Good Clean Fun

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April 15th, 2005

08:25 pm Caleb is gone, and it is sad. But he will be back tomorrow. I also kind of wish I had gone to the IMF/World Bank protests. I am having a pajama party with my roommate. It is grand and inebriated. I have been reading a lot of buddhism stuff lately, and especially about non-dualism. At some other time, probably tomorrow, I'm going to write about it. If anyone cares. Current Mood: high Current Music: Perfect-Guster

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April 14th, 2005

10:12 pm - Another quizzle. Your Inner European is Italian! Passionate and colorful. You show the world what culture really is. Who's Your Inner European? My written doohickey is long and boring. It stays silent with respect to livejournal. Current Mood: calm Current Music: Only In The Past-The Be Good Tanyas

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06:49 pm I had my oral earlier today. I think it went well, and at the very least we had a very good conversation that I got a lot out of. One of my seminar tutors said that I concieved of Eros in a way that he had not and he thought it was interesting. It's hard to tell whether they thought the paper was good or agreed, but in some ways it doesn't really matter. Matthew is here, and hopefully I and also others will hang out with him tonight. I think I may have decided to take the night off, because I want to do some writing about stuff I have been reading and thinking. It is times like these that I wish there was a bath I could sit in. Off to write some junk. I might post it if it's of any interest. But I doubt that it will be. Current Mood: tired

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10:46 am - "It's not a homeognomon, get your mind out of the gutter" Your Linguistic Profile: 55% General American English 40% Yankee 5% Dixie 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern What Kind of American English Do You Speak? This test is inaccurate, it is missing words like "bubbler" for water fountain. Current Mood: contemplative

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April 6th, 2005

09:12 pm Sometimes I hate men a little bit. But it is ok. My body image has been in the shitter for a while and I don't know what to do about it. I am a bad feminist. Current Mood: weird Current Music: Lost Woman Song - Ani Difranco

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April 4th, 2005

12:11 pm - My essay, for Allison and anyone else who wants to read it I don't really expect you all to read this, since it is so very long. ( Do enjoy, leave a note if you would like. ) Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Done Wrong-Ani DiFranco

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April 2nd, 2005

01:12 pm - How could you take almost everything, then come back for the rest I am taking a break from my stupid paper, because if I look at it any longer my face will explode. Writing it is like shitting out a brick. I am hoping doing a freewrite or something like that will help. -- This is probably the last time I will ever write about you in the second person. I can only imagine that you must wonder if I ever think about you anymore. To tell the truth, less and less. Mostly I wonder how things are going for you, if you're any better, if you still cut. I wonder if you really understand why I did what I did. I wonder if you learned anything or got anything from our friendship. Sometimes I forgive you things. You didn't need someone to believe in every story you have to tell, you need someone to look you straight in the eye and call you on your shit. Someone not afraid of your anger, someone who would refuse to assuage and soothe. I couldn't and won't do it, and I suppose you have that now. I realize that my love for you was immature, and that I didn't really know what I wanted or needed. Every day I realize I did a smart thing for myself. Maybe for you too. I wish you all the best, whatever that means. -- It's now a day after I wrote that. Water has come in through my window because of the rain. I feel weird, I love Caleb and I need to work on my paper. Maybe I will write again later. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Done Wrong-Ani DiFranco

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March 30th, 2005

12:05 pm I may be getting a new journal. Either that, or I need to start writing things of mild interest in here. In the future, do recall that I am a sensitive creature and you know very little of me or my life. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: She Says-Howie Day

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March 29th, 2005

08:28 pm - RAH! It is almost April. This means that you might be victim to my baseball-related rambles. Today I played wiffle ball, which rocked, and rocked hard. However, everything resembling hand-eye coordination and hitting skill has vanished since I last played. And I did not have much then, either. It was fun, nonetheless. Though I hesitate to get more organized, I think I will do that. Though hopefully it will be low-key. I do not want tough guy shit going on. Despite Louis' suggestion to keep it small, I think I am going to make a poster. Plans include a picture either of Torii Hunter making one of his f-ing ridiculous against the wall catches, or Ichiro batting with the text "Is this you? Come play wiffleball. (Insert Place and Time)" I am going to dork out now. ( Baseball doings behind the cut.  ) No, but seriously, I'm working on my freshman essay now. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: She Says-Howie Day

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March 27th, 2005

09:38 pm In a few months I'll understand all the things I never said to him, and why sometimes I hate him and sometimes I just want him to be ok. Sometimes I just burn inside because I know he's exactly the same. The constant is that I don't want to talk to him again. Today is Easter. Combined with the Solstice, I feel this air of rebirth all around. I am not sure I am partaking of it. My emo mood has passed, so this post will abruptly end. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Collide-Howie Day

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March 26th, 2005

12:58 am - Jack and Coke I just watched Elephant, and it was not very good. Not very good at all. I had a spectacular eruption last night. Yelling, throwing things and crying and then being very quiet for a while. Caleb is a good person. I had been feeling very dumb and incompetent. Like I was incapable of writing my freshman essay, like I am not good at anything nor very intelligent. I am feeling a little better about these things lately. I am going to sleep now, and then I will wake up tomorrow and work hard. (Not Party Hardy Marty, Steven) That is all. Current Mood: drunk Current Music: Pig-Dave Matthews Band

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March 21st, 2005

04:33 pm I just found out that someone I knew in high school and used to eat lunch with sometimes, who was rather weird and little annoying, but generally harmless and a good guy is now in Iraq. He joined the Reserves or something while Nick went in to the Army. It was very shocking for me somehow. I am feeling unwell today. Hyper-sensitive. I have been pulling hair. I am now taking a break from reading Timaeus to finish this LJ post. I have so much to do. I am not worried about my freshman essay at all for some reason. Perhaps I should be. Current Mood: weird Current Music: Much Finer-Le Tigre

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March 20th, 2005

02:07 pm Poor Caleb does not feel good. We went out to a party last night and he has the stomach bug, I think. I got ridiculously trashed and tried to shave someone's head(at their request). I had a great night and slept in til like 1:30. Now I must clean up and find my sandals. Rah! When I want to find things, I think they should just appear in front of me. Oh well, I am totally buying a wiffle ball and bat today. Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Not All Me-Alanis Morissette

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March 19th, 2005

02:20 pm - Rah I haven't made a post in a long time. Today is a beautiful day, I think I might go outside to work on my freshman essay, largely because this room is not built or decorated for inspiration. Last night, Caleb told me I should call my mother, so I did and that was okay. She is apparently going to do a chaplaincy(sp?) at a psychiatric hospital in Keene or something like that. I am not sure what I think of this. I miss braiding my hair. I had a good night last night, Caleb and I just sat around reading and talking and then dealing with stupid drama. But I guess everything turned out ok in the end. It is National Women's History Month. I did not know this. Alright, it is time to get off my ass and do some work. I am going to spend an hour on my freshman essay and then do some other writing, maybe. Current Mood: listless Current Music: Fire Door-Ani DiFranco

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March 18th, 2005

02:16 pm - Hmm English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 83% Expert! You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender : You scored higher than 74% on Beginner You scored higher than 19% on Intermediate You scored higher than 34% on Advanced You scored higher than 91% on Expert Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Too Much-Dave Matthews Band

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